She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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