im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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