I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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