It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
