I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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