I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i think im in europe. pls send help
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
