your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
