I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
