You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
