a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
