he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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