I'm pants shitting drunk right now
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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