check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
