Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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