bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
