Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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