who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
