Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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