Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
