You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
