can we get nightvision for the apartment?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
