u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
