Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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