How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
