He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize