Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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