Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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