wake up i wanna do it froggy style
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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