I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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