Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
