its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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