my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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