i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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