i don't plan on having that self control this summer
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
