eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
