hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
