well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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