How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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