from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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