I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
