The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
