i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
