I wanna passion pit in your ass
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize