Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
