Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The Olympian is in my bed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize