Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
