Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
