hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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