she was so not down for the gang bang
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize