ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
