just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
birth control should be required to get into college
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize