The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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