i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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