Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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