i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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