i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
