he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
