I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
