We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
