Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
